Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
worst night to have a conscience
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
