I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
so much tequila, so little girl.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
