does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All the doctor said was why
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
