I don't think brook has ever known best
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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