Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
