just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My ass is underappreciated
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
