ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
