So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
