Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
