whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
