I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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