6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
