PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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