He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
