so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
