the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
