Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize