Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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