I hope mine doesn't look like that
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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