Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
