The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
