whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
