3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
