I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
