I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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