it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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