i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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