I don't remember. Are we still dating?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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