Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
this is an emotional support booty call
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
