You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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