hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
