every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
