is your mom at the bar?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
