He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
