We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
