so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize