Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
