do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
