The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
