doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
