I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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