I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize