he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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