Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
