Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
