Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
