I'm really into asian looking animals
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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