Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
