Where is the hickey?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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