I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
