Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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