Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize