O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
