There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
