Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
