Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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