My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
