You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
